i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
