I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
