Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
two words: eviction party
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
