Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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