just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
