Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
