Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
