he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
