i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
