Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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