Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
