Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
