im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
