one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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