i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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