I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
