If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
