I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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