kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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