is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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