would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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