Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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