its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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