So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You took a bar mat shot.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
