All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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