I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
