Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
too bad you live with your parents still
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
