if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
