??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
