Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
