Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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