I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
