there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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