I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
