my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
