I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
