just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
