I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
