Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
