just come out here and I will go home with you...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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