Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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