I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
