So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
