East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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