This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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