Your face is a jimmy john
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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