Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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