Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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