he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
