The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
