Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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