Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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