A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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