i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
