btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
