I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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