I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
