"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This house was built for laser tag.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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