I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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