Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All I want is dick and wine.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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