Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
