If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize