no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
