Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
