I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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